I know this is going to sound weird, and I want to preface by saying I'm not in crisis. I'm stable. I'm medicated. I have a therapist (they're OK).
But I've been stuck for two years. The EMDR works on the surface but underneath there's something that talking doesn't reach. My therapist calls it "the body's archive." I call it the thing that wakes me up at 3am and tells me I didn't earn the right to survive.
Someone in a DM (from a horror community of all places) mentioned something called a "final girl support program". Not like... a fetish thing, or one of those weird scare-houses. Like, a private retreat run by someone who went through something real, on the actual site where it happened. The idea is confronting fear in a physical, embodied way and in a place that already holds that energy.
It sounded insane. I know!!! It also sounded like the first thing in two years that made my gut say "yes" instead of "maybe."
Has anyone heard of anything like this? I can't find a website or anything official. It seems to exist entirely through word of mouth.
seeking infoI haven't heard of that specific thing but honestly? The concept makes more sense to me than another round of CBT worksheets. The worst part of what happened to me was in a specific place and I've never been back. Part of me wonders if going back would crack it open in a way that finally lets it drain.
Be careful though. "Private retreat with no website" is also how people end up in worse situations.
I know what you're describing. I won't say more than I should in a public thread but I will say this: it exists, and the experience is not for everyone. It is specifically for people who already know that what happened to them wasn't the end of their story. It was the audition.
If you're serious, and I mean genuinely serious and not just curious, I'd be happy to talk more privately. No pressure, no timeline.
@cedar_and_smoke — "audition" is a strange word choice for a survivor support forum.
You're right, it is. But I think you know exactly what I mean by it.